Thursday, 13 May 2010
Chapter 9 - Why oh Why?
Zeus yawned as he walked past his first born at 5am. He gazed upon the bar above his son's head.
"Did you know there's something dangling above your head Sonny Jim?"
"Yes Dad, I'm well aware of that. You've had them hanging around yours as well."
"I must admit that nothing 'hangs around' near me."
Athena grumpily awakens as she hears her dad thump around in the kitchen.
"Why did I have to be unluckily enough to get the kitchen bedroom combo. Sucks to be me. Maybe I could knock him out."
"Tralala, pretty simselves must feel neglected by me."
"Yes knockout is the answer."
Athena stretched and groaned as her muscles spazzed up.
Does anyone else feel a bit of Pinocchio coming on there?
"Blah. Sod off."
Cheerful emotion from the gorgeous Aphrodite. It's a shame I got distracted by your nose. And overall features. You sure know how to spout them Fury. ;]
"I feel like no one understands me but Apollo and my mum. Which is basically a weirdo gay and an utter freak."
As per usual Hades is feel a bit down in the dumps, that's not a very nice way to describe his brother though.
After the brothers and goblins have left for school Fury and Zeus have some alone time together. Zeus is at the moment a bumbag with no job and Fury is now bringing in the bacon.
"That fragrance you wear is so appetising Fury."
"This is so totally bananafreakzoids."
"What the hell Ap?"
"It's stupid. Who knows what came first the frog or the spawn."
"Sounds like a cheap rip off the chicken egg syndrome."
"Doesn't surprise me, my teacher is a fucktard afterall."
"Your speech is offending my academic brain."
"Sorry, even though my school record is oh so better than yours."
"Shut it ginger."
"MUM SAYS ITS RED."
As you can see only with Ugworths people only play tag if they can run off home and never ever come back. Sam Sekemoto (?)made a quick escape.
"Who on earth are you?"
"I'm your first born child dad."
"I only register two daughters."
Needless to say Zeus isn't a very good father. I recommend not buying his new book; How to be a Super Babe and a Father.
The girls slaved on with their homework dead into the night. Although the sounds of Hades going 'woop woop' and 'AHA I HAVE YOU EVIL BUTTMUNCHER' to a child was slightly off putting.
As you can see Sam did come back. For some reason.
"How dare you say that to me you freak of a child."
"I have white chocolate in my pants."
"OH MY GOD CHOCOLATE?"
Now people this why you don't let a Fury near young children which are not her own. Strike that, don't let Fury near children full stop.
"Whoa this painting is like totally awesome and psychedelic."
Apollo gazed upon his painting of a girl on a pink background with pride.
The next day Fury was home alone. She had forced Zeus to get a job with the highest amount of pay since they were as poor as a rat. Actually more the fleas on the rat. Anyway, she decided to venture out into the wide world and came upon this house.
"Snigger snigger whose the skank with the short short skirt up to her knickers? Snicker snicker."
"Oh holy fishcakes it's you."
"RANDOM? What the fridge are you dressed like that for?"
"Bitten made me."
Fury proceeded to embarrass herself by making some freaky faces and impersonating a sim celebrity.
"Maybe if I smile politely she'll go away."
After annoying Random for a bit Fury got bored. It was only mid afternoon, she had no family around to bully so she worked on making some hotdogs for Morty Goth for an opportunity.
"Why does a boy want so many sausages?"
Fury wasn't paying attention and SPLAT. Her sausage fell on the floor.
"Well, that looks dodgy."
Readers meet Bella.
Bella meet readers.
"My boyfriend was so totally stolen."
After school Aphrodite seemed to disappear and didn't arrive home with everyone else.
"Hehe, finally I'm free for a while of my family."
She was hiding in the Sekemoto's household. Turns out their best friends.
"So this is what love looks like."
Aphrodite felt a rush of love pulse through her (ooer) as Sam pulled her into a hug. He asked her to say over, she happily obliged.
Meanwhile Athena fished.
"There doesn't seem to be any fish in this pond."
Keep fishing, you'll find something eventually.
Fury eventually cooked her hotdogs and made her way to Morty's house. She had to shoo Apollo off for a while who really wanted to go with her, she had no idea why and told him to bugger off and do his homework.
"That is one fuck off house."
Even though Zeus and Fury may seem like terrible parents (partly because they are) they still show affection for one another. Affection which doesn't involve rampaging over each others faces.
Athena managed to stay away from her family for the entire night. She did her homework outside.
"Scratching this pencil against my chin was such a bad idea."
"Did you know a dude can sometimes be referred to as camel's backside?"
This was the welcoming conversation Hades received from Apollo when they had woken up.
"Ugh. This outfit is appalling."
I actually laughed a lot when I saw Fury's nightwear. This must have downloaded off the exchange. Roflcakes.
What to do while pregnant:
-Invite friend over. Check.
-Have friend entertain you. Check.
-Play tag. Er..check?
"Do you think your belly will explode?"
"That's comforting Random."
The grumpy twins arrived home from school. It doesn't seem like their birthday does it?
"Who are you?"
"For minstrels sake dad. I'm your first born child!"
"Not ringing any bells."
"I give up."
Everyone gathered round for the blowing of candles.
"The baby is pressing my bladder and Apollo is in the way of the door."
Apollo was nowhere near the door.
Eventually the twins grew up.
"If I sneak like a ninja through that window I don't think anyone will notice I'm gone."
Sadly for Fury it's much too late for that.
"I'm scared of my own children."
"Athena I don't feel any prettier after this makeover."
"Shush Aph I'm watching the blank screen."